Saturday, September 22, 2012

Tale of a Recovering Perfectionist

I've spent the last few days at the national American Christian Fiction Writers Conference. I love this conference, and the wonderful, creative, fun writers who attend it.

There is one giant downside to the conference. It tends to bring out my need to try to be perfect.

Is my agent / editor pitch perfect? Is my one-sheet perfect? Are my business cards perfect? Are my outfits perfect?

It's exhausting.

The day I arrived at the hotel, I realized I hadn't memorized my pitch, I was beginning to think everything I had prepared for conference was all wrong, and I had a big blemish on my forehead that I was sure the editors were going to be staring at when we met.

But God, in that perfect way only He has, has been moving. It turns out that my writer friends--some new and some from years past--don't seem to notice all the imperfections. My agent and editor sessions have been better than any year before because instead of reciting my perfectly planned pitch, I'm able to have real conversations with them.

In one session led by Jim Rubart and Allen Arnold, they talked about how we can't have control and freedom at the same time. Isn't that what perfectionism is? A futile attempt to control things.

God doesn't ask for me to try to be perfect while I'm here. He knows I'll just mess it up. He asks me to walk into the experience with an open heart and reliance that He's got this.

How about you? Are you a perfectionist? Are there certain things that bring out your perfectionism?

13 comments:

  1. Great post. Perfectionism is exhausting and something I definitely need to work on. I sometimes allow it to get the best of me instead of spending that effort improving my work.

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    1. Thanks, Saumya. It can be a daily battle, can't it?

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  2. Hey Julie,

    Glad your appointments went well and glad you could relax that 'perfectionism' gene and enjoy yourself!

    I come from a family of perfectionists but luckily I avoided that gene! Though my kids both have a hefty dose of it!

    Have a safe trip home!

    Sue

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    1. Hi, Susan. I wish that you had been there to talk me through it!

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  3. I think sometimes I'm tempted to be a perfectionist, but you're right, it's exhausting. Sometimes we just have to take a deep breath and realize things aren't going to collapse if we're not perfect.
    Woohoo for the awesome conference! :-)

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    1. So true! Sometimes I have to remind myself to breathe!

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  4. Julie -- i love you!! Your honesty makes me smile. Glad the conference was out of your control and in the Lord's!

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  5. Love your honesty. All I noticed was your beauty inside and out! And sometimes I am a perfectionist, but I spin my wheels. So I try to do everything with excellence not perfection.

    And your random (though not a random post) late night blogging cracks me up!

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    1. Aw! Thanks, Jessica. "Excellence not perfection" -- I love that.

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  6. I tend toward perfectionism. It can be crippling and exhausting, especially in my writing life. I know in my heart I owe God something greater, my complete trust in him. He offers us grace, I need to remember to offer myself the same. He wants someone exactly just like you :)

    Thank you, for this sweet reminder today.

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  7. Thanks for your transparency, Julie! Hard to imagine a published author like you, could struggle with perfectionism. Wonderful to hear how the Lord turned the things you saw as imperfections into opportunities for Him to work! Blessings to you~

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  8. From a former perfectionist I can so relate. I tend to revert back to my college self of seeking perfect "grades" and performances and driving myself crazy. My sister reminded me to depend on God to help me to do my best and let the rest go.

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